Humans are just instrument.
It was late in the afternoon. Patients keep on coming. I need to help in assisting and end up refracting two of them. Because of my disorganized mind, I forgot that the powers that I need for their prescription are not applicable in the lens that I prescribed so I need to find a way to fix it, and end up asking Doctor A. I listened to her advice. After a few hours, Doctor B told me that there is another lens which is the same with the lens that I prescribed wherein the lens powers are available. So I double checked the lenses that she told me and told Doctor A about it over the phone. After a few minutes, Staff A hand me over her phone because Doctor A is on the line. After we talk, I gave back the phone to Staff A, and then that’s the time my eyes feel heavy. Staff A told me that Doctor A got mad because of Doctor B since he/she intervenes, and told me not to cry because it isn’t my fault. But no matter how many times I look at it, it’s still my fault that I didn’t stick to the judgment that Doctor A and I had.
I feel so bad. I just want something better for the patient, but then I also end up hurting someone. Maybe I’m a conflict magnet. I don’t know. I think I’m not ready for this.
I feel so useless.