In a few more days, after 6 years, I’ll be able to tell myself, “You did a great job." But then, I realized it doesn’t end there. The following months will be crucial. Yes, we’re through dealing with professors and homeworks and quizzes, but the biggest challenge is about to come.
On the 2nd week of July, we’ll be having our Optometry Board Exam (week before my birthday! OMG!). Our lives depend on the outcome of that exam. Yes we can take it up again if we fail but taking it once would mean a lot.
Although we’re already preparing, I have this feeling that I’m not yet ready for it. Like I still don’t know anything about it. Fear of failure is already in my veins. And it’s consuming me.
I guess, I’m not really strong.
Six years ago, I wasn’t sure about what I want for myself. I honestly do not like my course. I think about it as lame; even telling my parents, “Ano ba yan, mata mata lang naman.” But since I do not know what to take, I was forced to take it. Although I hate it, I still tried my best to pass every subject. Few more years passed, I was on my Proper years, and I started to get a wider view of what Optometry is and what an optometrist capable is of. Eventually, I started to love it.
My 4th year has been rough and toxic; handling the council duties, passing requirements, reviewing for EVERYDAY quizzes, catching up with friends, sister and daughter duties, and girlfriend duties. I was in the point of giving up, but the people around me kept on encouraging me, supporting me. And then, I survived. I was even surprised that I’ll be doing my clinic already.
And then there’s clinic, I cannot say that everything went well that year (5th year) since I had a hard time finishing my clinical requirements (Goodness, hindi ako nirereplyan ng patients ko, dispensing na lang e). First semester went well though, but second semester comes and it’s already finals, I’m still lacking 5 patients. I’m in the midst of quitting, but a certain person told me, “Kung ngayon pa lang sinasabi mo na hindi mo na kaya, then wala na. Never give up.” Ever since then, I keep reminding myself that I can do it, and I can’t give up. Not now. (Ayun, pasado. HAHA)
So our last year came, research and internship; but probably the happiest year of my college life. First, there’s research. Gosh, I thought it’ll end. Revise this, and that. Delete those data and these up, and so on. But time flew fast, and without us realizing, we’re so done with it. HAHAHA Lastly, our internship. Since, I already took Pediatric Optometry summer of 2013, I might say, I’m well-adjusted with the succeeding sites; how they handle pediatric patients, when to do this and that, how to instill ophthalmic drops properly, etc. So when I got to the other internship sites, I adapted well. I learned the way they treat their patients. I even got the chance to edge, and polish rough blanks. I was able to edge a semi-rimless, rimless, and full rim frames, and then tint the lenses (IT WAS FUN!). I never thought that this program would give me so much satisfaction, not just because I was able to play or joke around, but also with professionalism. :)